Anglais

Question

Idea of progress/Oral

Bonjour
je suis en Terminale ES et je passe lundi mon oral d'anglais; c'est pour cela que j'aimerais que quelqu'un puisse corriger mon texte s'il vous plait.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Well, i'm going to speak about the idea of progress. First let me try and give a simple definition of this notion. Progress has to do with the process of improving or developping something. It implies change. So the idea of progress basically consists in believing that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technologie, liberty and quality of life. I'd like to illustrate this notion through an interesting topic, namely the sixties. Thus we may wonder how the sixties have marked an evolution in society. I've choses tout divide my presentation into 3 parts : effectively, in a first part, i will concentrate on better quality of life, my second part will be about cultural evolution and un the last part, i will insist on emancipation of women
During this decade, consumer society was developed. That's why with the development of eletric and domestic appliances, people spent all their money.
In the memories of the sixties, mike approves that life was improving.
Indeed, he remembers that the colour TV appeared in 1967 on BBC2 mainly with sports programs. Nonetheless, TV were very expensive so his parents rented them. However,when television broadcasted the first step on the moon in 1969 , several families had equiped oneself with colour TV. Consequently, the sixties are marked by a better quality of life and by an evolution cultural too .
Indeed, in music some rock bands appeared and revolutionized the music like beatles, the rolling stones. In an article of marketing magazine, " the times are changing " A journalist explained that these rock band were bringing with them a new culture. Indeed the sixties was the symbol of youth and drugs. They embodied a new generation, rebel and engaged. Consequently they invented a culture with values and lifestyles that go against those of who are established by society. This generation was freer than the generation in the 50s.
Moreover twiggy who is was a famous supermodel made london the fashion capital of the world.
She designed the mini-skirt. It was symbol of emancipation of women.
That's why during this decade there were the sexual revolution.
Indeed, In an article of marketing magazine, " the times are changing " A journalist attested that women got more liberty than before. For instance they could have access to the contraception.
they could have carreer like men. They weren't just a wife or a mother . .
Like Proves the citation " a radically different climate to the 50s, when men were men and women were housewives.
To conclude, i can say that during the sixties there was an advances in all domains.
I think that this decade stays a fabulous times who have influenced several generations again today.

1 Réponse

  • Bonjour, je remet ton texte en corrigeant les erreurs
    Well, I'm going to speak about the idea of progress. First let me try and give a simple definition of this notion. Progress has to do with the process of improving or developping something. It implies change. So the idea of progress basically consists in believing that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty and quality of life. I'd like to illustrate this notion through an interesting topic, namely the sixties. Thus we may wonder how the sixties have marked an evolution in society. I've chosen to divide my presentation into 3 parts : effectively, in a first part, I will concentrate on better quality of life, my second part will be about cultural evolution and in the last part,  I will insist on emancipation of women
    During this decade, consumer society has developped. That's why with the development of eletric and domestic appliances, people spent all their money.
    In the memories of the sixties, mike approves that life was improving.
    Indeed, he remembers that the colour TV appeared in 1967 on BBC2 mainly with sports programs. Nonetheless, TVs  were very expensive so his parents rented them. However,when television broadcasted the first step on the moon in 1969 , several families had equiped themselves with colour TV. Consequently, the sixties are marked by a better quality of life and by an cultural evolution too .
    Indeed, in music some rock bands appeared and revolutionized the music like beatles, the rolling stones. In an article of marketing magazine, " the times are changing " A journalist explained that these rock bands were bringing with them a new culture. Indeed the sixties was the symbol of youth and drugs. They embodied a new generation, rebel and engaged. Consequently they invented a culture with values and lifestyles that go against those of who are established by society. This generation was freer than the generation in the 50s.
    Moreover twiggy who  was a famous supermodel made London the fashion capital of the world.
    She designed the mini-skirt. It was symbol of emancipation of women.
    That's why during this decade there was the sexual revolution.
    Indeed, In an article of marketing magazine, " the times are changing " A journalist attested that women got more liberty than before. For instance they could have access to the contraception.
    they could have carreers like men. They weren't just a wife or a mother . .
    Like Proves the citation " a radically different climate to the 50s, when men were men and women were housewives.
    To conclude, I can say that during the sixties there was an advance in all domains.
    I think that this decade stays a fabulous time which has influenced several generations again today

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